Advice from Parents and Faculty
"It's been three years since my daughter graduated. However, I can remember from her days as a student that encouraging a class "identity" as something to rally around and unify them (i.e. Stetson Class of 2013), would have helped her especially during the first year. When those bonds of friendship are formed (which they were for her by the end of her first year) she found study partners who all helped and encouraged each other in their studying. I think that forming those friendships first helps them feel comfortable to go to each other for help and support." -Kate Pearce, Faculty _______________________________________________________________________
"I would encourage all first year parents to be a constant source of encouragement to their children. THis is the beginning of what is likely to be a difficult transition. However, it will be a very rewarding experience for your child and they need and want your support as they go through this process. Be sure to encourage them to do well and to make the right decisions. Lastly, make certain to leave your child some room to develop into their own person by encouraging independence and supporting them as they pursue new endeavors such as joining a new extracurricular/cocurricular organization, running for a leadership position, or trying their hand at an intramural sport that they may have never played before." -Rachael Lawrence, Parent _______________________________________________________________________
"I wish I would have remembered to give my daughter her Social Security Card so that she could go to Human Resources about Work Study." -Marie Harper, Parent _______________________________________________________________________
"I would encourage parents to communicate with their students in the general sense of their courses. Students do not like to be drilled on their progress in classes. How is your professor? Bad - what do you hate about him or her? Good - what interesting things are you learning? If their answers are simple you might ask if they are thinking about dropping the class. Then let them continue the conversation or end it. The point is to listen and not be overbearing and tell them what they should do. Give suggestions not orders and let them make the decisions. Over the course of the semester ask - How is your course going? Do you still hate the professor? If they answe this yes, you might suggest they go see the professor if their grades are suffering. Let them make the decision to go to the professor. If they feel it is not needed, they are the ones in the class and you should respect their decisions. However, if your child is not doing well you might suggest they see their advisor or even the campus counselor who there to help students adjust to college life when they feel it is hopeless. What students need is your support not a domineering figure telling them what decisions to make. We learn from mistakes, and hopefully for the better." -Lisa Guenther, Faculty _______________________________________________________________________
"As the parent of a first year student, I wished that I had taken a moment to realize that my daughter was an adult. That she was and is capable of making her own decisions. This is her time to grow, to learn and to teach. I know now that while sending her off was a big step in my life, it was an even bigger step in hers. While I thought that I had endless amounts of information and wisdom to provide, I didn't think about the things she would learn from her peers, from her teachers, and from her mentors that I have heard so much about. Most of all, I wish that I had reminded her that she too has a lot to give, that this was her time to show the world who she was and who she can be." -Helen Debevoise, Parent _______________________________________________________________________
"It's okay to feel a mix of emotions when you send your child to college - you'll probably feel joy, pride, sadness, even lonliness ("empty-nest" feelings are very real!!) and a host of others, all at the same time. That's normal. Forgive yourself for your tears and celebrate your joys. Carry a pack of Kleenex, but know that you've done a great job in raising your youngster...they've made it to college! Embrace their young adulthood; they're going to be fine! Let your student know you love them. Send them cookies. But please, don't hover. Trust their faculty, the staff on campus, and their faculty advisors to help guide them - the faculty and staff working at Stetson are here because we love working with terrific young adults that Admissions brings to campus. Let your student make their own decisions, whether you agree with them or not. After all, this is their time to grow and blossom and to pick the path they want to start down as an adult. It's hard to let go, so don't forget to take care of yourself - commiserate with your friends, find a new hobby, and enjoy not having to share the bathroom, phone, car, or fridge! And welcome to the next wonderful stage of life for your student...and yourself!" -Laura Glander, Faculty _______________________________________________________________________
"I wish I would've known how stressful the first year can be. Such as professor expectations, roomate situations, time management, etc. I wish I was better prepared on how to counsel and advise college students to the changes and lifestyle they have to adapt to when they go to college." -Vivian Bracciale, Parent _______________________________________________________________________
"As a professor I want a student to do as well as possible in my class. I am passionate about my subject area, but I'm also smart enough to know that a person needs to do well in more than must my class. The key, I think, is TIME MANAGEMENT. People who know college students often accuse them of placing too much emphasis on partying rather than studying. The reality in my opinion is that we might better accuse them of not emphasizing anything at all, or not managing their time. If there is one issue I see freshmen and sophomore college students struggle with it is knowing what to do when. A college student can 'while away two hours' better than anyone around! College students who watch TV more than a few minutes per day (to catch news or weather) puzzle me. College students who nap most days puzzle me. College students who sit on the quad and visit with friends for hours puzzle me. Students who sign up for 8 student organizations or sit at the coffee shop until late at night puzzle me. I think a college student who takes the initiative to get assignments done on time or early will find ample time for appropriate socialization and recreation. Students who waste unawares 15 minutes here, 30 minutes there find themselves stressed out, behind, and trying to make excuses (or worse). The students I work with talk with their parents regularly on the cell phone. That parent should not chat with the student long--they should encourage the student to get off the phone and make notes about plans, or to simply get off the phone and get to work. Parents should do all within their power to help students distinguish between having an extrinsic force dictate your hourly schedule (such as a parent, or school principal) and having to do that on your own. Parents should help students make daily and weekly schedules--including important details like laundry, cleaning, mealtime (we know college students eat very irregularly and often health suffers!), study time, recreational time, and very importantly, regular sleep time. The most successful college students I have worked with can tell you exactly what they have done for the past six hours and how long each task took, and they can follow up with what they will be doing for the next six hours. The successful students I work with get up in the morning just like they did in high school, rather than sleeping until that first class at 11AM. A professor, friend, parent, or roommate can teach about time management, but no one can actually do it for students. They must do it themselves." -Andrew Larson, Faculty